How to create a positive money message for your children

How to create a positive money message for your children By Zena AmundsenI often reminisce back to when my daughters were young.

Maybe I shouldn’t have let them cry it out as one-year-olds. What if I had nursed them longer, would they have no allergies today? “I should have, I could have” plays out in every woman’s head.

All the love in the world isn’t going to shelter us from making mistakes. The challenge that comes from this is being able to embrace our humanity and not punish ourselves. We all need self-compassion and self-love.

The same is true with our relationship with money because how you feel about yourself will affect how you handle money. Also, how you handle money will affect your children. This is a cycle that can become positive.

By creating a thriving, abundant, healthy attitude with your own money, you can then pass on that same healthy attitude to your children. Like a sponge, they will soak up the attitudes and beliefs around them, even when you think they are too young to understand.

Teaching our children about money is more than a conversation. It is making a commitment to recognizing our own personal money stories. As a parent, we can define what money means to each of us and then decide what values and beliefs we want our children to grow up with.

However, our words and wants need to align with our actions. When they don’t match, our children will notice.

My older daughter Mikayla and I were recently out for a walk around the park with our dog. We were chatting and enjoying the beautiful sunset and summer weather. I had mentioned that it would be nice to plan another family vacation to Tofino and rent a house on the beach.

We had done that a few years back and it was one of my favourite places to be with family and friends. My daughter responded, “Yes, that would be great. But this time can you not stress about money the whole time? I felt stressed about it.”

I stopped abruptly in the middle of the walking path with our dog, causing the couple behind us to have to swerve to the side to go around us to avoid a pile-up.

I was shocked.

We had saved and planned for that trip and had plenty of money. My initial reaction was very defensive. I thought I did everything I was supposed to as the leader of my tribe—we had the cash flow plan, we knew our family priorities and values, and we communicated.

I thought we felt free and unconstrained because of our positive abundant harmony.

What did I miss?

I think the answer is I tried too hard. My daughter shared with me that she would hear a few conversations in the kitchen of me and my husband checking in with the prices of the surf lessons or the price of the groceries.

It was routine conversation to me and part of my cash flow process, but those discussions projected worry on to my daughter.

Send the Right Message

As parents, we aren’t perfect, no matter how hard we try. We want to install healthy habits and to lead by example, but sometimes it is easy to skip the positive money message because of our own negative thoughts and beliefs.

As you work on rewriting your own money beliefs, you can use these tips as reminders to come back to as needed:

  • Get your own finances in order so that you can show your children by example that you are thinking of the future and making conscientious decisions for the family. Be a financial leader.
  • Teach early. Our children are never too young to learn healthy habits. Even toddlers can pick up on our attitudes and actions.
  • Communicate in a positive manner about money. For example, if bills come in the mail, it is easy to throw a few choice, negative words around and make a comment about not having enough money to pay all the bills. You might be venting, but a child might think you literally mean you have no money. Worry and fear could become associated with common bills.

JOIN THE FREE 5-DAY HEART OF YOUR MONEY CHALLENGE HERE

If you’d like some extra support in starting your intentional journey with money, you can sign up for my FREE 5-Day Heart of Your Money here. 

What are you craving?

What are you craving? By Zena Amundsen

I don’t mean the chocolate cravings I get every morning with my coffee. I mean deep down, in the centre of your core, what are you craving? 

Whatever it is you recognize that you need, I bet self-care is somehow involved.  

My most memorable time of needing self-care and self-love was when I found myself having to rebuild myself after my husband had left. It is what sparked my journey with money.  

And, it is how I found out that my journey with money and becoming financially independent started with loving myself.  

Self-Love = Self-Care = Motivation to become financially healthy. 

I still struggle with this. There are days the gremlin talk is loud and my feelings of self-worth plummet. I just want to hit survival mode.  

Coincidently, this is when financial health plummets as well.  

My countermeasure is to start with practicing self-love and care. 

Here is your reminder to love yourself, take some time out for yourself and dig deep to understand what it is you are craving.  

If you are needing some “you” time, here are a few ideas: 

  1. Try meditation.  

Classes can range from $100-$500 for an 8-week session. If that doesn’t fit your cash flow, try an app on your phone (Aura has a free trial and Deepak Chopra offers a free 21 day guided meditation). 

  1. Find a connection that is uniquely just for you.  

Try coffee with a friend that loves and supports you or connect outside somewhere in nature. These connections are free and won’t cost you anything. A pricier option would be to attend a one day retreat or weekend retreat. These can cost up to $200 a day, not including travel.  

  1. Pamper yourself with a spa treatment.  

If the local spa cost makes you cringe then carve out the time at home to splurge. Put on your housecoat, have a bath and relax at home on your own for free.

JOIN THE FREE 5-DAY HEART OF YOUR MONEY CHALLENGE HERE

If you’d like some extra support in starting your intentional journey with money, you can sign up for my FREE 5-Day Heart of Your Money here.